9 Reasons why CCAD students are less likely to be attacked and/or murdered on campus

1. The average CCAD student, especially freshmen, can be seen equipped with one or all of these items: an exacto knife, a box cutter (also know as a mat-knife by students and falculty as that is often its primary function) and a rather large metal, yard-long t-square ruler.
2. the aforementioned weaponry is often found in jacket pockets for easy wielding for the absent minded. Any such poor attacker may find their insides rather deplorable to look at as they are spilled on the sidewalk. And thusly painted later (should he survive) by his would be victim.
3. Your mother has said it before: Artists are crazy. It is popular belief that fighting a crazy person can only lead to your own defeat as your intentioned victim not only doesn’t care that you are flaying him with your little pocket knife but he is also cataloging your reactions and physical movements for later projects. With no reguard for self worth, and life being of little importance, CCAD students are less likely to submit to their fate but rather fight back for the enjoyment of it.
4. have you ever been hit in the head with a paint box? The dreadfully heavy apparati is often hauled long distances and artists will happly throw this at any idiot who is stupid enough to get close.
5. double 0 seven has nothing on us. Artists that reside in the dorm often suffer from boredom when projects become too much to bear, in order to rectify this problem they partake in an activity called “stair walking” which is done in the tight spaces of the stairwell. The point is to not allow any part of your body to touch the floors or the stairs, thusly it becomes a wall climbing exercise. These select few of students become closely akin to ninja.  Don’t fuck with us.
6. Art students are poor. All of the aforementioned equipment we haul around sucks our pocket books dry and we are most likely to have maybe spare change in our wallets at best. The last known mugging that took place on CCAD was summed up with a few buises, a black eye and the loss of two dollars from one of the victims’ wallet. Seriously we aren’t worth it.
7. You know those art supplies that aren’t used as weapons? We sniff them. Do you attack a guy whose high as a kite? Nooo. You think chloroform will work on us? Dude we huff paint and rubber cement. Chloroform aint gonna work.
8. Suicidal tendencies, freshmen year is hell. If you kill us your only granting us our most cherished wish.
9. Self inflicted injuries. Students can be stupid at 4 am in the morning racing deadlines for projects. We’ve been stabbed, cut, stitched burned slashed, gashed and mutilated…. All by ourselves….